How come So many Indian Arranged Marriages are Successful?
What you support, Arranged Marriages or Love Marriages? During my period living in India, I have seen many changes happening in my native land. One event that has not changed, and remained to confuse and fascinated many people is the institution of the Indian Arranged Marriage.
Even in today’s scenario, a vast number of Indians whom I know, including family members, pals, colleagues, and students, many of them amongst the highest knowledgeable and westernised class, select an arranged marriage over a free choice one.
Let’s start with an exact definition of Arranged Marriages. It is marriage in which the bride’s parents or elderly family members play a remarkable role in selecting a partner for her and completing wedding process including the plans to have dowry.
Does Modern Arranged Marriages in India really Work?
A classic modern arranged marriage work as follows: For both the soul mates, the individual’s family members telecast and find promising mates for further scrutinizing from their social gathering, group, or by publicizing on matrimonial websites or newspapers.
There is an open meeting between the families, after which the pair has a few chances to accompany in the courtship period. At this point of time if neither of the person gives approval from their end, they are asked to spend some more time together alone. And then the times come for final decision.
Fully Arranged (v/s) Semi Arranged Weddings:
In India, there are outstanding differences wedding practice between the financially advanced states and the less developed states. In the less developed states, the women had no say in selecting their soul mates and they get married at a very young age.
Their elders make choices for them and they have to cooperate and marry an unknown person without any interaction or knowledge about the soon to be groom. In these marriages, grooms from the same class and religion are respected and the bride’s parents balance his education, profession, social and economic standing with their capability to afford the equivalent dowry amount.
Whereas, in the economically advanced states the women had at least some say in choosing their soul mates, engaged in direct courtship or chose their future husbands themselves.
What better Outcomes do they actually Achieve in Choosing their Husband’s?
The data had shown that getting a fully arranged marriage has horrible result for poor countryside women. In contrast to semi arranged marriage, both of which are highly rare in poor and rural India, some years later, getting a fully arranged marriage is similar with lower levels of talking with the husband on such things as how to spend the money on family and when to have children and so on.
One should have Lower Expectations in Starting of the Relationship:
Mainly a couple stepping into arranged marriage simply does not know each other that well contrasted to those starting free choice marriages. Definitely the expectation from each other at the starting of the relationship will be lower. In Indian arranged Marriages, many people give importance to similarity and financial reliability over romance, moreover granting to restrained expectations.
Arranged Marriages are not a magic bullet and cannot cure the culture of its ills. I can only differentiate it to its choice. In a theoretical sense, we never choose most of the things that really bother us. We neither select our parents and siblings, nor our race or country of birth.
But we still manage to love them throughout. If the couple, who are involved in partnership are broad minded and develop to love and care for the other person despite of minor gaps in their personalities, marriages-arranged or otherwise really works…….